The Pink Panther
The Death of Comedy (Part Two)
A short list of things that are considerably funnier than The Pink Panther:
Losing one or more limbs.
Being trapped inside a barrel for fifteen days.
Minor volcanic eruptions.
Major volcanic eruptions.
Being swiftly eaten by piranhas in a vat of Mountain Dew.
Being slowly eaten by piranhas in a vat of Mountain Dew.
This one time when I was making my dinner and had picked up a saucepan that had somehow had its handle heated and gave me this really nasty blister on my right forefinger that took ages to heal properly and hurt quite a bit.
A hearty kick in the testicles.
Leaving Las Vegas
The terrible case of Frankie McEwan, the orphan boy from Kirkcaldy whose only friend in the world, a three legged blind sheepdog was killed in the collapse of a linoleum factory, the resulting trauma leading to a life of drug addiction and eventual death from monkey inhalation.
Living a life slaving for The Corporation, eking out enough money to continue your barely registering existence for another month over the course of which nothing significant will be achieved in a cycle that continues until one day you realise that your life is about to come to a close and there's simply nothing that you've done that you can say you're proud of; nothing that you will be remembered for, until you are nothing more than worm fodder and dust.
85% of all known cancers.
Unexplained bleeding from the ears.
Unexplained bleeding from the anus.
Entirely explainable bleeding from the anus.
Spiders emerging from the ears.
Spiders emerging from the anus.
Elephants emerging from the ears.
Elephants emerging from the anus.
Essentially everything that isn't The Pink Panther.
Were I in the business of passing quantifiable judgements, I'd award this 0/5 TippyMarks.
Kevin Kline (Chief Inspector Dreyfus)
Beyonc? Knowles (Xania)
Jean Reno (Gendarme Gilbert Ponton)
Emily Mortimer (Nicole)