Skip to content.

theOneliner.com The Pink Panther review: The Death of Comedy (Part Two) 0/5.

Steve Martin, apparently not satiated with defiling Phil Silver's memory in Bilko decides to dig up Peter Sellers' corpse, bury it upside down and urinate on the grave with this startlingly anti-funny insult to cinema. The slapstick / stupidity of Inspector Clouseau's Pink Panther outings were never really my cup of tea, but with the added 'bonus' of signposted, cack-handedly executed pratfalls, hateful rather than amusing faux accents and Martin's own unique brand of annoying, want-to-smack-him-upside-the-head smarm, this is a monument to Hollywood's continual failures of imagination, execution and quality control. If you find a single, solitary thing to laugh at in this colossal waste of time you'll be more fortunate than 98 percent of the others who have endured this mess. A waste of a decent supporting cast including Kevin Kline, Jean Reno, Clive Owen, Emily Mortimer and, er, Jason Statham (in the movie's only plus point he gets killed before speaking), it's difficult to feel too sorry for them as I assume they read the script before signing up. This assumes a script was created, which may be giving it a little too much credit. We knew this would be a disaster from the moment it was announced, as did everyone on the face of the planet, and boy, were we ever proven right.

| Click here to skip to main content |
theOneliner.com
Floats our boatfloats our boat
- 10 reasons CGI sucks - comments about Gollum aside, this article I stumbled upon sums up wonderfully how I feel about CGI in films
- "It's been a magical evening," Joel says as the Great Khali hits the Undertaker with a dustbin lid.
Gets our goatgets our goat
- Meet the Spartans - rarely, if ever, have I felt such antipathy toward a film due to the trailer alone. Avoid, I urge you.
- Unfathomable.
Now Showing
The Pink Panther
The Death of Comedy (Part Two)
0 / 5
2006, UK-PG
Reviewed 26 Mar 2006 by Scott Morris@theoneliner.com
Steve Martin, apparently not satiated with defiling Phil Silver's memory in Bilko decides to dig up Peter Sellers' corpse, bury it upside down and urinate on the grave with this startlingly anti-funny insult to cinema. The slapstick / stupidity of Inspector Clouseau's Pink Panther outings were never really my cup of tea, but with the added 'bonus' of signposted, cack-handedly executed pratfalls, hateful rather than amusing faux accents and Martin's own unique brand of annoying, want-to-smack-him-upside-the-head smarm, this is a monument to Hollywood's continual failures of imagination, execution and quality control. If you find a single, solitary thing to laugh at in this colossal waste of time you'll be more fortunate than 98 percent of the others who have endured this mess. A waste of a decent supporting cast including Kevin Kline, Jean Reno, Clive Owen, Emily Mortimer and, er, Jason Statham (in the movie's only plus point he gets killed before speaking), it's difficult to feel too sorry for them as I assume they read the script before signing up. This assumes a script was created, which may be giving it a little too much credit. We knew this would be a disaster from the moment it was announced, as did everyone on the face of the planet, and boy, were we ever proven right.
The Pink Panther image

A short list of things that are considerably funnier than The Pink Panther:


Gum disease.

Losing one or more limbs.

Getting mugged.

Being trapped inside a barrel for fifteen days.

Train crashes.

Minor volcanic eruptions.

Major volcanic eruptions.

Most wars.

Being swiftly eaten by piranhas in a vat of Mountain Dew.

Being slowly eaten by piranhas in a vat of Mountain Dew.

This one time when I was making my dinner and had picked up a saucepan that had somehow had its handle heated and gave me this really nasty blister on my right forefinger that took ages to heal properly and hurt quite a bit.

A hearty kick in the testicles.

Leaving Las Vegas

The terrible case of Frankie McEwan, the orphan boy from Kirkcaldy whose only friend in the world, a three legged blind sheepdog was killed in the collapse of a linoleum factory, the resulting trauma leading to a life of drug addiction and eventual death from monkey inhalation.

Living a life slaving for The Corporation, eking out enough money to continue your barely registering existence for another month over the course of which nothing significant will be achieved in a cycle that continues until one day you realise that your life is about to come to a close and there's simply nothing that you've done that you can say you're proud of; nothing that you will be remembered for, until you are nothing more than worm fodder and dust.

85% of all known cancers.

Unexplained bleeding from the ears.

Unexplained bleeding from the anus.

Entirely explainable bleeding from the anus.

Sweet Home Alabama.

Spiders emerging from the ears.

Spiders emerging from the anus.

Elephants emerging from the ears.

Elephants emerging from the anus.

Essentially everything that isn't The Pink Panther.

Were I in the business of passing quantifiable judgements, I'd award this 0/5 TippyMarks.


Director:
Shawn Levy
Cast list:
Steve Martin (Inspector Jacques Clouseau)
Kevin Kline (Chief Inspector Dreyfus)
Beyoncé Knowles (Xania)
Jean Reno (Gendarme Gilbert Ponton)
Emily Mortimer (Nicole)