Throwing open their virtual doors as a Christmas gift to the world on, well, Christmas 2002, theOneliner.com has been steadily undertaking the task of reviewing every film ever. If only those Hollywood types would stop making them for a while, we might have a chance.

Run by three barely competent lunkheads, this site is an affront to humanity and has little relevance to today's society. More details of the yesterday's man behind much of the site, Scott Morris can be found at his own feeble dead end of the internet, ScottMorris.info. A far more interesting use of bandwidth can be seen at Craig Eastman's pretty photo-filled web presence, Disko.org.uk. As for theOneliner.com's third column, Drew Tavendale, he remains a man of internet mystery, silent like a deadly ninja assassin. Who is this masked man, we all wonder?

This exciting javascript-laden, early 2009 redesign what you are looking at right now marks the fifth iteration of the site's "visual experience". The comically terrible original, for which we continue to apologise profusely can be sampled here if so desired. This offence to the eyeballs lasted about seven months before changing to this more palatable format, which served well until summer 2005 during which a fever of web-standards based idealism resulted in this clean, accessible layout. Version 4 was an experiment in tidying the site up, with a more visually impactful look for the broadband age, which we think worked quite well. The current, V5, of the site is an evolution of that, taking into account the better typographical options available and packed to the gunnels with responsive design goodness for our mobile-using chums. Remember WML over WAP? No? Count yourself lucky. Now it's full-flavour everywhere.

At theOneliner.com, we ask for no personal data to access any of the site. Any emails sent to our staff are treated in the strictest confidence unless otherwise authorised, and your email address will never be made available to any third party. We will never send any unsolicited emails to anyone, under pain of death. theOneliner.com treats your privacy with the respect it deserves. In this respect at least we believe in the old "Do unto others" thing. We wouldn't like to be signed up for various spam, so we won't sign you up for various spam. Simple, really.