The 75th Oscars

So Oscar is 75? But he still has lots of money and influence, so he better watch out before Anna Nicole Smith comes round and tries to marry him. But Happy Birthday to him, although Oscar's 75th bash may not have gone ahead at all - there was much talk in the US media over the past few days that, due to the war in Iraq, the Academy Awards may have been postponed. For why? Last time I looked, Baghdad was nowhere near Hollywood (except perhaps on some sound stage somewhere). Several people claimed that to hold such a frivolous event at a time of conflict was wrong (some more vehement opponents suggested it was 'morally reprehensible' - get a life). This is, of course, complete and utter tosh. The rest of the world, the entertainment industry in particular, hasn't stopped what it's doing just because the phoney president of the USA has decided he needs to force a good oil deal. And for those who dislike war, then events like the Oscars are just what we need to distract us from the more horrific events going on in this armpit of a planet. Several actors elected not to attend the ceremony, claiming that to do so would be wrong, and that it belittled the importance of the conflict in the Persian Gulf, and God forbid that anyone in the entertainment world should seem shallow! However, by doing so they have made themselves bigger news than the war, thereby defeating the purpose of not attending. Still, most invitees did attend, though some who didn't should be thanked for this humanitarian action - I particularly refer here to Jim Carrey, whose magnanimity in opting out to allow Matthew McConaughey to present in his stead saved us all from his awful gurning and mugging. For this, Mr Carrey, we applaud you.

So, with the ceremony saved, it was with a great sense of trepidation that I sat down to watch the 75th Academy Awards, a sense of trepidation I had felt ever since learning, some months ago, that the alleged comedian, the chronically unfunny Steve Martin, was to host the show. This news, when it was announced, was massively baffling to many, as Martin's ham-fisted presentation 2 years ago was considered one of the worst hostings (is this a word? Hmmm. I'm sure you know what I mean anyway) in recent memory. Still, to his credit, he did a reasonable job of introducing the proceedings (at least compared to his previous effort, but the fact remains that Steve Martin is NOT funny), which, while somewhat hit and miss, did contain some genuinely funny moments. He went downhill later on, with some bizarre, and occasionally downright insulting, comments, but he has largely redeemed himself for his past transgressions. Still, a few astute observations - "You'll notice there's no red carpet this year - that'll send 'em a message!" and "All the proceeds from tonight's telecast will be divvied up amongst huge corporations" started things off well.

So to the awards. Many found it hard to predict where the awards would go this year, though the smart money for most awards was on Chicago with its 13 nominations. In the end, it won 6, including the biggest prize, Best Picture, but to the great relief of all, there was no Best Actress award for Ren?e Zellweger, but there was a massively-deserved Best Supporting Actress for Catherine Zeta-Jones' vibrant performance as Velma Kelly. The heavily pregnant Mrs. Douglas also performed live with fellow-nominee Queen Latifah a song from Chicago nominated for Best Original Song (an award which went to Eminem for Lose Yourself from Curtis Hanson's excellent 8 Mile). Other deserving recipients of the ickle golden guy included Hiyao Miyazaki for Spirited Away in only the second year of the Animated Feature Oscar, and Michael Moore for his superb documentary feature Bowling For Columbine, one of my favourite films of the year.

Despite reportedly having been told not to make political statements, Moore was one of many present on the night to use his acceptance speech to comment on the war in Iraq, though he went far further than most. Inviting all his fellow nominees onto the stage with him, he told the audience, "We like non-fiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you." Sentiments which I wholeheartedly agree with, but didn't seem to go down too well in the Kodak Theatre, with a lot of boos greeting his words, though there were a fair amount of cheers too.

There were definitely a few surprises in store, with Adrien Brody receiving the Best Actor Oscar for his role as Polish musician Wladyslaw Szpilman in Roman Polanski's World War II film The Pianist, an award many expected to be heading Daniel Day-Lewis's way and the Best Director nod going to Polanski himself, an unexpected award given many thought the Academy would be reluctant to give the statuette to a guaranteed empty seat (Polanski has been wanted in Los Angeles for over twenty years for a statutory rape charge). In this category it would appear the Academy did reward talent, though, as he and Spanish director Pedro Almodovar (who picked up the award for Best Original Screenplay for Hable Con Ella) were the only two nominees in this category truly deserving of the accolade.

Also awarded prizes were Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose (her role in the awful The Hours is simply far too small, and not good enough, to have been deserving of Oscar) - she clearly won the award for not looking like Nicole Kidman, and Chris Cooper for his excellent performance as the orchid thief in Spike Jonze's Adaptation. Other highlights included Jack Nicholson mugging for the camera, Kathy Bates' comment, "Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings," Meryl Streep following her performance at the BAFTAs and displaying a hitherto untapped talent for presenting and receiving awards, and Michael and Kirk Douglas together presenting the Best Picture award. One thing missing was four extra Oscars for the other Best Actor nominees - this was the closest category to call, and the only category in which every nominee was fully deserving of the win. In the fantasy Oscars in my mind, Nic Cage, Jack Nicholson, Michael Caine and Daniel Day-Lewis all joined Adrien Brody on stage with little gold figures of their own (with Charlie Kaufmann getting the Best Adapted Screenplay award for Adaptation). One real low point was Jennifer Garner's presentation of the Best Animated Short, for which she was accompamied by a very poorly rendered 3D CGI Mckey Mouse, with a voice that sounded like no Mickey Mouse I've ever heard. The mouse still managed to deliver his lines better than Garner, though.

Still, it was a very enjoyable ceremony, and one of the shortest in years, with not too many undeserved awards.

The full list of winners follows, in the order in which they were announced.: