theOneliner.com Oscars 2004 (76th Annual Academy Awards): Long live the King!

Justice is done at last. And so, may I just say, in the words of Mr. H. J. Simpson: "Woo. Hoo." After being scandalously overlooked in the past two years, Peter Jackson's magnificent adaptation of JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings has finally received the acknowledgement from the American Academy that it deserves. Though The Fellowship of the Ring is probably the most meritorious film direction-wise (though I found ROTK more enjoyable, and certainly grander in scale), any or all of the three parts could have justifiably received the Best Director and Best Picture Oscars. A pity, then, that the Academy chose this year in which to bestow these honours when Sofia Coppola's superb Lost In Translation was also in the running.

It really was the night of The King, picking up as it did an astounding 11 Oscars from 11 nominations. Other notable winners included Charlize Theron as Best Actress for her role as a serial killer in Monster, Sean Penn as Best Actor and Tim Robbins as Best Supporting Actor in Clint Eastwood's gritty drama Mystic River, and Finding Nemo for Best Animated Feature. Following Michael Moore's triumph last year in the Documentary Feature category, another political documentary with an anti-war message, The Fog Of War, was awarded the prize, accepted with another anti-war speech. Tim Robbins also made good use of his time, making a heartfelt appeal to anyone had suffered the type of abuse his character in Mystic River had suffered to not be ashamed and to seek any help they might need.

A puzzling award came in the form of Denis Arcand's win in the Best Foreign Language category for his decidedly average Barbarian Invasions. What was less puzzling was the choice of Billy Crystal as host, and his entertaining presentation was light years away from the drudgery of Steve Martin's attempts in 2003. Alas, then, that the same could not be said for the breaks, when we in Britain had to suffer the inanity of the conversation provided by Jonathan 'Can We Talk About Me' Ross. (Those of you in the US and most other countries will merely have had commercials to endure, and on this night I am sure it was more of a blessing than a curse). His guests were the very talented, but, when it comes to films, very wrong Alistair McGowan, his partner in crime Ronnie Ancona (the talentless bint) and some chronically unfunny Welsh pillock, whose name I feel I should know, but whenever he is on screen, I feel my concentration slipping away, like water off of a duck's back. You may also have been bored by him at the BAFTAs this year.

All in all it was a very enjoyable ceremony, well-presented, and with almost all of the awards being given to thoroughly deserving recipients, which is surely something of a rarity. So, with there being nobody in New Zealand left to thank for the winning films this year, I would like to join Billy Crystal and thank Scarlett Johansson's rear. I leave you with the list of winning films (marked in bold).