Thursday Edition, 27th June 2013

Well, we’re approaching that magical time of the month known as “payday”, the happiest day of them all! Meaning I can again afford trivialities such as food and petrol. Swish. What better to tide us over to midnight than a look-see at the latest film news.

Good news everyone! Annie has a leading lady! What do you mean, you have no interest whatsoever in a remake of that horrendous musical nightmare? You are a person after my own heart.

Just what modern culture needs – Rick Santorum: Film Executive.

We should, I suppose, be gratified that Sony and Disney are making some baby steps into the modern world, or ever the world of a decade ago, by experimenting with VOD releases close after cinema release, but I don’t know if they’re enough to prevent an oncoming film funding apocalypse. These stupendous hundred million dollar gambles on films are going to hit a few snake eyes in a row sometime soon, I’m sure, then the brown stuff will interface with a bulk air moving device.

Look, I liked The Hobbit more than most, but even I’d struggle to justify sitting through an extended edition of it.

I’m still looking forward to Ender’s Game and like the look of these new posters, but does anyone else get the feeling that all modern sci-fi films look more or less identical?

Val Kilmer’s idea for a Heat sequel involves marrying Natalie Portman. Sure. He’s also got an idea for a Top Gun sequel, which involves marrying Natalie Portman. And a sequel for The Doors, where the ghost of Jim Morrison marries Natalie Portman.

It’s time for another edition of Good Idea, Bad Idea. Good Idea: signing up one of the writers from Arrested Development to write a film script. Bad Idea: That being the script for a Knight Rider movie.

Sam Mendes – make your mind up. And the correct decision is of course, “sure, I’ll do the next Bond film”.

Next up on the over-analysts couch: Charlie and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

I’m far from convinced there’s a need for a Magic Mike sequel, but Channing Tatum’s claim that Soderbergh would DP it for him is interesting, given his “retirement”. And also not that kind of DP, you dirty bird.

David Lynch is pessimistic about his prospects for directing another film. Which is sad, but I suppose understandable in this climate. I’d want to see him direct a Marvel comics film, just for shits and giggles.

Look, no-one in their right mind wants to see Taken 3, given the mess made of the last one, but who could begrudge Liam Neeson a $20 mil payday?

That’s all that I deem interesting enough to filter through to you, so to tide you over until Monday here’s a fistful of trailers for your viewing pleasure.

  • Escape Plan sees Stallone and Schwarzenegger go prison breaking.
  • Breathe In, with Guy Pearce and Felicity Jones looks dreadfully adult.
  • The Counselor is Ridley Scott’s latest, with a strong cast.
  • The East rather looks like it wants me to sympathise with terrorists, which might not be the best strategy.
  • A Field In England, Ben Wheatley’s latest is almost upon us.

Catch you on the flip side.

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